Bested By Your Best?

I hate when people tell me to “just do the best you can” or “just focus on being the best you can be” or “don’t compare yourself to others, it’s not about being the best, it’s about being the best you.”

I mean, if you feel warm and inspired by any of these sentences, then more power to you. But personally, it causes me anxiety. I mean, how do I know if I have done my best? Who knows when I have given all I can give?

What if my best doesn’t match my expectations, and so I run myself ragged because I thought my best was better?

What if my best still doesn’t win me that job, that competition, that opportunity that I so desperately want?

What if my best isn’t good enough for someone I love, and they choose to not love me back? What if my best means managing my expectations, pivoting towards a different dream, a different goal…maybe even towards something I never wanted?

What if my best betrays me?

What if my best is equal to someone else’s failure?

What if my best hurts someone?

I think the problem is that I have always assumed that “my best” was an arrival point, a plateau. I don’t know if anyone else feels this way, but just in case this helps anyone else, here is what I have realized after being let down by my “best” over and over and over again.

Your “best” is the process, not the product. 

Your best may not always be enough to achieve what you’re striving for, but it will ALWAYS be enough for the thing the matters the most – the development of your soul (self, being, essence, or whatever you subscribe to in this scenario). 

Your best can be challenging to quantify and frustrating to pursue. So frustrating that it causes anxiety and unhealthy expectations. Of course, we should always be pushing ourselves to increase our capacities and improve our abilities and we should constantly be evolving. But this HAS TO come from a place of LOVE if we are to sustain healthy growth.

I have realized that if I set my intention, then whatever I do is my best. As a flutist, if my intention is to create beauty, and I focus on that during my performance, no matter how everything else goes, I will have done my best. This I can quantify. This I can measure.

If you want to do your best, then develop your integrity as a person and as a professional. 

If you want to do your best, find something wonderful to believe in. A positive belief contains hope, which is a more powerful incentive than any award.

The important question, then, is this: Do your beliefs lead you to hope?

Below is currently my fav quote about doing my best:

“In the end, only three things matter:

how much you loved,

how gently you lived,

and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.” (unknown)

 

So, I’ve decided I no longer want to try to be my best. Instead, I want to be kind, be gentle, be bold, be patient, be daring, and be believing.

 

What are you going to be?