Why Believing In God Is Worth It

I was watching this show the other day. High quality stuff, you know, straight-forward cops and robbers, when all of a sudden, this little theological bombshell drops out of nowhere.

The dialogue went something like this:

Bad guy: Do you believe in God?

Good gal: *stares stoically*

Bad guy: I know exactly what you mean…because I feel the same way.

Good gal: *continues to stare stoically*

Bad guy: Because to believe in God means that you no longer believe in yourself.

CUT! CUT! CUT!

*backstory* It’s almost as if he came to one of those “life-defining” moments and he could only see two doors:

One was apparently marked “Be religious and feel like a loser because you weren’t strong enough to figure it out on your own”

and the second door must have read “Steal things, shoot things, and feel successful!”

 If those were the two options, I would have picked the bad guy door too.

To set Robber Joe straight, I’ve made a list of reasons why I personally can say that believing in God exponentially increases our ability, our capacity, and our desire to believe in ourselves.

I take bigger risks

I don’t mean the “run out into traffic” type of risks.

I mean the pause-your-education-in-the-middle-of-your-career-and-live-in-a-different-country-talking-to-people-about-God-for-18-months risk, only to find out you’re a much better musician for it.

I constantly do things that scare me, because I believe that fear serves a function and can be tamed.

And sometimes that means the biggest risk of all. To wait. To believe that “not now” is not “never”.

I make fewer mistakes (at least those that actually matter)

Because I trust God, I try to obey Him. And if my goal is to obey God’s commandments, follow my dreams, and reach out to people in love, my decisions end up being very safe and very effective. It allows the decision-making process to be rooted in perspective and mercy. That doesn’t mean I always do the right thing, but it means it’s my goal.

I continually have unexpected adventures

Following God means you do things, say things, and go places that you never would think of on your own. Just one example, as a missionary in Germany, my missionary companion Sister Markl and I were walking down a street and we crossed paths with this guy. We introduced ourselves and what we do, and he was like “Thanks but no thanks. God isn’t for me, I’m an atheist.” We started walking away, in opposite directions, when I was suddenly filled with this strange need to turn around and shout at the guy. Now, this is not recommended as missionaries, and I don’t usually recommend it to myself, either, but it was a really strong feeling. So, I turned around, and yelled down the street in his direction: “IF YOU PRAY TO GOD TONIGHT, AND ASK HIM IF HE IS THERE, HE WILL ANSWER YOU…HAVE A NICE DAY!”

And then we headed back to the bus stop.

He came around the corner as well, and I was like

oohh...awkward....yup, we're still here

And then he comes up to us, and is like

"Ok…you have until 17:30 to try to convert me."

We were shocked. And what followed was this beautiful connection and a beautiful conversation.

I believe that there are answers

God’s love applies to everyone individually. I believe that no one falls through the cracks, no one gets forgotten. Not by God. But I acknowledge the deep contradictions that are woven into the very fabric of being alive. Because we live in a messy world, things get complicated, and painful, and gut wrenching. But never unsolvable. I wish we would believe that more than we do.

I actually expect my dreams to happen

I believe that because of Jesus Christ, my mistakes and weaknesses, my slip-ups and whoopies won’t keep me from fulfilling my dreams. I believe that God is a granter of wishes and a bestower of dreams. Sometimes His realizations of our dreams are so much bigger than we anticipate that we don’t recognize them right away. But He always gives us what we’re honestly searching for.  

I experience a more profound independence

Believing in God and making Him a part of my everyday increases my independence. It makes me more independent from my fears, worries, anxieties, shortcomings and from the opinions of others. And not the Marvel/DC/hero-type independence that requires me to gallantly hide my deep feelings of hurt and betrayal and be the martyr in every situation, giving no thought to my own health, but rather the kind of independence that allows me to look my grief/fears/prickles/trauma in the face and say “Thank you for your contribution to my life. Good-bye now.” And maybe it takes a while. Maybe it takes years, but it does leave. And it leaves without leaving scars.

What’s even better is that in trying to live the way God asks us to, I have been able to work on developing interdependence, which is the healthiest way to live anyway.

I find the humor in everything

Believing that God has a individually-tailored plan for each of us turns life into one great beautiful puzzle, and unraveling the facets and the life-puns, and the irony, and the breathtaking interplay between God and humankind, and between people makes life so interesting, painful, and so often hilarious.  

I have an undying belief in love

Loving and reverencing God means I feel loved by someone other than myself and that love is not dependent on mood, weakness, love-language, misunderstanding, or anything else. ever. So, the broken needy bits of my soul can be soothed and fed so that I can love other people more honestly, truthfully, and completely. 

I am not afraid of being wrong

This one I’m still a total newbie at. But, the principle is that mistakes don’t define us, and being wrong means we’re growing. It means believing even if everything goes wrong, that the universe in fact does NOT have it out for you, that you still can choose what happens next, and the rough parts will either facilitate or contrast the happy parts, and either way, your pain isn’t useless.

It’s understanding that God doesn’t take choice away from us, He fills the gaps and the voids left behind when we do.

Here’s the kicker:

I don’t have to do it alone

Believing in God means I always ALWAYS know that there is someone who will believe in me, who stands by me, who gives me space and room to grow, and never EVER underestimates me, even when I can’t imagine any of those things about myself. 

And He does it PERFECTLY. 

FLAWLESSLY. 

COMPLETELY. 

UNBIASEDLY. 

BEAUTIFULLY.

Who wouldn’t want that?

Guilty as Charged: Guilt and Shame in Religion

Hi there.

It's been a while since I've posted here. 

Guilt has been on my mind big time the last few months. I've finally come to some sort of conclusion to the threads in my head, and tentatively share them with you here. :)   

I think we’ve all at one time or another collided with the abrasiveness of shame and guilt.

There’s that moment of impact where everything just shatters. One minute you’re fine, and the next reality’s been sucked away from you like trash off a starship, zapped out into the humiliation of eternal suspension, except it isn’t trash, it’s your life. Or like inhaling helium instead of oxygen and suddenly you don’t recognize your own voice, and everyone is laughing, only it isn’t funny, ‘cause that’s your self-respect on the ground.

The worst though, is the forgetting. Because the guilt robs you of courage, you forget that you had any to begin with and you’re left feeling hollow, but never empty.

Never empty.

The only safe space becomes arm’s length, because the alternative is a blubber puddle in the smallest corner of your mattress, and even then, you feel gargantuan,

and yet somehow perfectly invisible,

all at the same time.

It’s intense, peeps.

But here’s what my first year of my DMA is teaching me:

Guilt is usually a cover for not accepting ourselves. Instead of staring our inconsistencies in the face and loving ourselves anyway, we hide behind guilt. The thing is, feeling guilty or shaming ourselves means that we don’t have to be honest with ourselves. We don't have to look at the contradictions of what we're feeling and try to make sense of it. We can just feel bad and punish ourselves by withholding love and expectation of success, which “restores the balance” and eventually can become so habitual that it triggers the reward receptors in our brain.

That’s really important. I want to state that again.

Feeling guilty tells the brain that we’ve done something right.

Feeling guilty can make us feel good.

Living in guilt means our brains our broken and we just got played by our emotions.

Actually, it means that we need to give ourselves some TLC...and admit that we’ve experienced a type of trauma that the brain is trying to cope with.

Like seriously.

It also means that we need to repent. As in “…forming a fresh view of God, ourselves, and the world.”

Repentance always brings godly sorrow which SHOULD NOT be confused with guilt or shame (which if you follow the hyperlink to the scripture, I associate guilt and shame with "sorrow of the world").  

Godly sorrow is something very different than guilt. It can hurt, absolutely, but it NEVER will cause shame. It will NEVER leave us feeling worth less. Godly sorrow brings with the pain of recognition an intense desire, motivation, and belief in permanent change and healing. (Or, if you ask Paul, resolution)

The instant our pain at what we’ve done wrong causes us to doubt our worth, ability, or expectation of happiness, it is no longer religion, but a lie.

Also keep in mind that if the brain is broken and our feelings are playing us, then those feelings of guilt we feel are often FALSE. Like should-be-kicked-out-to-the-curb-and-run-over-by-a-semi false. 

What might happen is that we’ll break. (who am I kidding? It WILL happen) And we’re supposed to break. It’s the only way to change on a deep subconscious level.

Break open,

break up,

break out,

and most importantly break through to a deeper understanding and freedom.

So…the point? The take away? The nugget of wisdom?

Nugget #1) God wants you to accept yourself completely. The good, the bad, the ugly, the awkward. All of it. He knows that the only way doing good things and obeying Him will become a state of being is if we first love and accept ourselves as we currently are. We can’t build a life on a lie and expect it to hold together. Doesn’t work.

Nugget #2) If you find that your life is a series of “if….then” statements, you’re probably reacting to guilt rather than living your life on your own terms.

“If I...then I deserve to…”

“If I …then I will know that I’m good at this”

“If I …then I can be successful”

Life is much more enriching if we go from the “because…” perspective.

“Because I want…I am willing to…”

Your life probably won’t end up looking that different, but it will feel like you’ve finally come home. You will feel REAL.

Why?

That’s what taking responsibility for our lives looks like and feels like.

It’s control.

It’s possibility.

It’s freedom.

Or in the words of Elder David A. Bednar it’s “acting and not being acted upon”.

I don’t know about you, but that sounds a lot better to me. 

Nugget #3) Guilt and shame are fear of failure in justice's clothing.

There is little I fear more than my disappointments and failures being my own fault.

 haha Too bad I'm a human being. 

 The beauty of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is that weaknesses  have a function and are meant to be catalysts of change instead of damning contributions to a messy and confusing life. Never let the ego of failure keep you from stretching outside of yourself. 

And kick guilt to the curb. You deserve so much better than that. 

God lives.

Christ is our Savior.

The church is true.

And life is beautiful...if somewhat messy and infuriating sometimes. 

~Gabbi