Success. It's what we're all looking for, right? We assume that those who are most successful are the happiest people, and you'd be right. But how do you define success? Do you see people as successful because they are those who please the masses, or who have the most prizes? You have to be careful with confusing winning with being successful or happy. Winning gives the illusion of success, but usually it means almost nothing.
You might say "Oh, Gabbi! You have no idea what you're talking about. You see, you HAVE been successful. You've traveled all over the place, you've got two degrees, you have won things. What right do you have to be saying this?"
As someone who has been on both sides of the story, both a national winner, and a state loser, there is one thing I know for sure: Neither one has made me happy.
As one who has been considered both Plus Size and Slim, there is one thing I know for sure: Neither one has made me happy.
As one who has been in serious relationships, and who is now seriously not dating much at all, there is one thing I know for sure: Neither one has made me happy.
As one who has been willing to do everything for everyone and one who has refused to do anything at all, there is one thing I know for sure: Neither one has made me happy.
As one who has not experienced what you have, there is one thing I know for sure: it hasn't made you truly happy.
I feel like I am running out of options. What DOES make you or me a successful, worthwhile, loveable member of society? What have I done that makes me worthy of respect?
Well, folks that's just it. The answer is the most humbling, mind-boggling, infuriating truth of them all. NOTHING we do makes us more worthy of respect and love than someone else. Through the Atonement, we are ALL deserving of love and respect. I know. I know. You can think of at least five people who you are pretty sure do not deserve your respect, and if you don't know anyone personally, you know that Hitler was a pretty lame dude. So that invalidates my point. right? Wrong! Your job is not to exact punishment for Hitler, or for any of the variety of miscreants that have hurt you, lied to you, manipulated you, taken advantage of you, or violated you, though believe me, I have been sorely tempted on several occasions to visit certain people with a quad in one hand and a whack-a-mole mallet in the other, prepared to get the truth through their skulls, one way or another.
But, back to point. We need to make responsible judgement calls about our lives, not pass judgement on the people in them. Because let's face it: We are all equally damned. One sin people, one
THOUGHT, that's all it takes for us to be unworthy of heaven. You can't get much more damned than damned. (those who are thinking of
SoP, see here for the clarifications. You have to know A LOT about God to fall that far.) So we are all in the same boat. To accept that God is a loving God means we also have to accept that He'll give all those repulsive people a second chance, too. That's what it means to be perfect. This is what it means to have equality. Take it or leave it, but have fun with your self-deceit if you leave. The Lord's parable of the workers in the vineyard is quite clear. So is the prodigal son. If we think we deserve more than someone else because we've earned it, maybe we don't quite understand our own predicament. NEWSFLASH:You're damned to begin with. Righteous acts are an indication of our commitment and understanding of Christ's plan, not a point system that brings us closer to heaven. You want that? Go join the people at the Tower of Babel, but remember you'll end up not being able to communicate with those people who mean the most to you.
But that's the way it needed to be. Believe it or not, our growth and happiness depended on the fact that we're damned. The other, less stressful way would have caused us to develop into puppets, unable to really be independent or happy, not able to really love anyone else, because we had no need to really love ourselves.
That's why the Lord asks us to "
turn the other cheek" or give our cloak as well. Not because following Christ means we need to be doormats, always trying not to offend or hurt people's feelings, not because perfection is letting people do whatever they want to do or allow their habits or desire to dictate what you feel you can do, (at this point I hear Elder Bednar's voice in my head: ...
to act, and not be acted upon...) but it's to remind us that we're in this together.
So love the people who hate you. Do good to those who
despitefully use you and curse you. Pray for the people you are repulsed by. Love your enemy.
This is what it means to be successful. Everything else passes too quickly to mean much.
Success is when you do something on your terms, in a way that is true to your truest self and you grow from the experience. Anything else is fake. Anything else is a way to try to prove your own worthiness, and even if you win, that's not real success.
Success is when you allow yourself to love after you've been hurt, to trust after you've been betrayed, to try again when you've stumbled, and to believe in the intrinsic goodness of people.
Success is the act of being bold, of reaching for what you want, of staring pain and fear in the face
and recruiting them to be on your team, and the act of listening to the voice of Truth, even if it's inconvenient or devastating.
Success is taking the time to grow, mature, and bloom and celebrating every phase of the experience, knowing that Christ understands and is at the helm. Success is knowing you can trust Him, it's being willing to embrace life's challenges with faith and hope. Not be perfect, mind you, but simply be
willing.
Success is not a series of events, it is a lifestyle, a belief system, a way to view the world.
So, go have your success story, and allow others to do the same.
A bird in a net
