Do you ever feel like your emotions are all pent up behind your rib cage, like a tiger in a pen? I do. One tiger that keeps on coming back is the need to compare. Usually it surfaces most readily in music. Let me tell you, this tiger knows how to bite, if you don't let it know who is boss.
Truth seemed to prowl like an enemy behind bars:
Feline and ferocious,
Eyes haunted and hungry;
Boring into my skin like a termite into wood.
It's clawed paws reaching the earth to in a hollow rhythm,
Too close in time to not be my heartbeat.
This is the first thing I read this morning:
"...We get pictures in our head when we are taught some truth and presume that the picture is accurate. Then after we have repeated the "truth" often enough, we go on to believe the picture must be all-inclusive.
Once we've arrived at that point, the truth no longer matters. We've decided the answers, and no further evidence will be considered...It is most certainly incomplete. It is, in fact, so far short of the whole story that when any part of the remaining, missing information is shown to [us we] are certain it is a lie.
It is painful to part with our suppositions and the traditions we hold dear. It is painful to admit there may be much more of the picture we have not yet considered, much less seen. It causes anxiety and fear...We have wanted a complete, well-defined statement of our faith...It gives us security. It is a false security, purchased at the price of closed minds. It give us hope. It is false hope, based on the foolishness of the deluded." *
Often when my family drives long distances, we take along a book on CD, to help pass the miles. On our way back from Jackson, WY we were listening to the Bronze Bow. This book explores the confusion, passion, and turmoil surrounding the Zealots expectations for Jesus Christ during His ministry in Israel. Broken, burdened, and hardened under the load of the Roman rule, the Zealot's hearts beat with an aggressive desire for their freedom. Again and again, Christ spoke of the building of the Kingdom, and the fulfillment of long await prophecies. Emboldened, the Zealots sharpened their swords and waited for Christ to take up arms. But instead, He taught them to love their enemies, to feed the hungry and the poor, to accept all people as children of God. And then He was crucified. Their hope seemed crushed, like a delicate lily under the calloused heel of a Roman boot. But those who saw Christ for what He is and was, could see that He was building the foundation for a much greater, and much more permanent kingdom: The Kingdom of God.
I realized that I was being a Zealot. I saw the signs, and expected my results, instead of the whole picture, or the whole elephant, as President Uchtdorf would say. Musically I had a specific idea in mind, that would come after I had done or fulfilled certain things. But I've been missing the point. The only way to be rid of the tiger, is set it free into the wild, where it has its place. That's what I have found to be the best way to address feelings. This personal tiger needs to be set free with this truth: Humility is when you realize that your success does not depend on someone else's failure.
Your success is all your own. Feel free to be bold.
*"Removing the Condemnation" Denver Snuffer
