"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life." Berthold Auerbach
It's the same with some of the flowering trees in Bowling Green. These trees explode in a flurry of large pink and white petals that are really stunning, but they only last for a day or two before the trees are basically left standing bare. Up until a few days ago, I've always considered this to be a shame, like it was some kind of flaw in the plan, but now I'm not so sure.
One more example of this comes straight from the life of a musician. We practice and practice for hours on end for days, weeks, months and sometimes years on one piece, or on one series of pieces only to perform them in two hours or less, and then its over. All that work, all that struggle for a simple moment in time, so fleeting, so fragile.
With some reflection, there were three ideas that really hit me.
1) True Beauty Facilitates Growth
The beautiful petals on the trees may pass away quickly, but what replaces them is strong, full, and lush green leaves that unfurl throughout the summer, providing shade, color, and replenishing oxygen in the air. Beauty that is real is not stagnant, it is a function of progression and change. The strains of last month's recital may have faded from our ears, but the lessons and skills gained from the experience can last a lifetime and lead to many future performances. God is beautiful and perfect because He is the balance between change and stability. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever, His word never changes, His law passeth not away, His Son's Atonement is infinite, but His love is for the one, the healing and peace of an individual soul, with unique problems, hurts and concerns.God believes in our ability to change. He knows we can change, and He has provided a way for us to be free from our past, for the change to be permanent and real. I testify that God lives, and that He loves His children. I know this is true. I have felt pain, hellish moments of agony, as I know everyone has, but I have also felt moments of the most exquisite joy, and those moments have come when I have progressed, when I have seen beauty in a form outside of parameters. Beauty that requires no credit, that isn't trying to prove something by being beautiful, that exists simply because people deserve to feel joy, because truth is joy and the earth is honest--it knows the voice of the Shepherd.
2) A Limited Lifespan Uncovers The Longing To Hold On To What Is Real And Lasting
When I see something beautiful that has died or ended, it fills me with a sense of regret and disappointment, I'm saddened by the loss, and I want somehow to go back and save what is gone. It reminds me of the voids, the empty places that I find in myself, which ache to be filled. These voids come in many forms. I think it is part of what drives us as people. We think if we can fill the voids, the blank spots, the parts of us that are missing then we can finally be happy, and happiness is something I think everyone is striving for, no matter who you are, or what name you go by. Feeling like my soul is pock-marked with a bunch of holes and pitfalls has never been something that makes me happy, but I have been learning that each time I feel a twinge, or each time I stumble, it is an opportunity to stop and remember to be kinder to others and to myself. I am starting to see that every time I trip I am given a chance to remember who I want to become, and on Whom I trust, and that it really will be ok. Maybe beauty is not so much something that we create, but something we become. Beauty, then, is a state of being; a lifestyle choice; it's a way of seeing the world and 3) It Reminds Us To Savor The Little Things And Look To The Future
With the end of the semester and the summer beginning, I have had the opportunity to really take a closer look at myself and take stock of where I am as a person and a musician. What I have found is that it is important to take time to savor the little things and to find beauty in something as simple as an intake of breath. Beauty is the first pathway to love, and love fills in the gaps in our understanding, it gives us reason to go forward, even if things don't make sense. Love gives us something to live for, something to fight for, something to smile for: love is faith. As I take the time to look for the beautiful things in life, I am filled with happiness, and I am content, because everywhere I see manifestations of God's love, and it gives me strength in my moments of hurt to keep moving. Beauty is a buffer, an inspiration, and a spiritual looking glass into things as they really are, and things as they can be.
