I was watching this show the other day. High quality stuff,
you know, straight-forward cops and robbers, when all of a sudden, this little theological
bombshell drops out of nowhere.
The dialogue went something like this:
Bad guy: Do you believe in God?
Good gal: *stares stoically*
Bad guy: I know exactly what you mean…because I feel the
same way.
Good gal: *continues to stare stoically*
Bad guy: Because to believe in God means that you no longer
believe in yourself.
CUT! CUT! CUT!
*backstory* It’s almost as if he came to one of those
“life-defining” moments and he could only see two doors:
One was apparently marked “Be religious and feel like a
loser because you weren’t strong enough to figure it out on your own”
and the second door must have read “Steal things, shoot
things, and feel successful!”
If those were the two
options, I would have picked the bad guy door too.
To set Robber Joe straight, I’ve made a list of reasons why
I personally can say that believing in God exponentially increases our ability,
our capacity, and our desire to believe in ourselves.
I take bigger risks
I don’t mean the “run out into traffic” type of risks.
I mean the
pause-your-education-in-the-middle-of-your-career-and-live-in-a-different-country-talking-to-people-about-God-for-18-months
risk, only to find out you’re a much better musician for it.
I constantly do things that scare me, because I believe that
fear serves a function and can be tamed.
And sometimes that means the biggest risk of all. To wait. To believe
that “not now” is not “never”.
I make fewer mistakes
(at least those that actually matter)
Because I trust God, I try to obey Him. And if my goal is to
obey God’s commandments, follow my dreams, and reach out to people in love, my
decisions end up being very safe and very effective. It allows the
decision-making process to be rooted in perspective and mercy. That doesn’t
mean I always do the right thing, but it means it’s my goal.
I continually have
unexpected adventures
Following God means you do things, say things, and go places
that you never would think of on your own. Just one example, as a missionary in
Germany, my missionary companion Sister Markl and I were walking down a street
and we crossed paths with this guy. We introduced ourselves and what we do, and
he was like “Thanks but no thanks. God isn’t for me, I’m an atheist.” We
started walking away, in opposite directions, when I was suddenly filled with
this strange need to turn around and shout at the guy. Now, this is not
recommended as missionaries, and I don’t usually recommend it to myself,
either, but it was a really strong feeling. So, I turned around, and yelled
down the street in his direction: “IF YOU PRAY TO GOD TONIGHT, AND ASK HIM IF
HE IS THERE, HE WILL ANSWER YOU…HAVE A NICE DAY!”
And then we headed back to the bus stop.
He came around the corner as well, and I was like
oohh...awkward....yup, we're still here
And then he comes up to us, and is like
"Ok…you have until 17:30 to try to convert
me."
We were shocked. And what followed was this beautiful
connection and a beautiful conversation.
I believe that there
are answers
God’s love applies to everyone individually. I believe that
no one falls through the cracks, no one gets forgotten. Not by God. But I acknowledge
the deep contradictions that are woven into the very fabric of being alive. Because
we live in a messy world, things get complicated, and painful, and gut
wrenching. But never unsolvable. I wish we would believe that more than we do.
I actually expect my
dreams to happen
I believe that because of Jesus Christ, my mistakes and
weaknesses, my slip-ups and whoopies won’t keep me from fulfilling my dreams. I
believe that God is a granter of wishes and a bestower of dreams. Sometimes His
realizations of our dreams are so much bigger than we anticipate that we don’t
recognize them right away. But He always gives us what we’re honestly searching
for.
I experience a more
profound independence
Believing in God and making Him a part of my everyday
increases my independence. It makes me more independent from my fears, worries,
anxieties, shortcomings and from the opinions of others. And not the Marvel/DC/hero-type
independence that requires me to gallantly hide my deep feelings of hurt and
betrayal and be the martyr in every situation, giving no thought to my own
health, but rather the kind of independence that allows me to look my
grief/fears/prickles/trauma in the face and say “Thank you for your
contribution to my life. Good-bye now.” And maybe it takes a while. Maybe it
takes years, but it does leave. And it leaves without leaving scars.
What’s even better is that in trying to live the way God
asks us to, I have been able to work on developing interdependence, which is the healthiest way to live anyway.
I find the humor in
everything
Believing that God has a individually-tailored plan for each
of us turns life into one great beautiful puzzle, and unraveling the facets and
the life-puns, and the irony, and the breathtaking interplay between God and humankind,
and between people makes life so interesting, painful, and so often hilarious.
I have an undying
belief in love
Loving and reverencing God means I feel loved by someone
other than myself and that love is not dependent on mood, weakness,
love-language, misunderstanding, or anything else. ever. So, the broken needy
bits of my soul can be soothed and fed so that I can love other people more
honestly, truthfully, and completely.
I am not afraid of
being wrong
This one I’m still a total newbie at. But, the principle is
that mistakes don’t define us, and being wrong means we’re growing. It means
believing even if everything goes wrong, that the universe in fact does NOT
have it out for you, that you still can choose what happens next, and the rough
parts will either facilitate or contrast the happy parts, and either way, your
pain isn’t useless.
It’s understanding that God doesn’t take choice away from
us, He fills the gaps and the voids left behind when we do.
Here’s the kicker:
I don’t have to do it
alone
Believing in God means I always ALWAYS know that there is
someone who will believe in me, who stands by me, who gives me space and room
to grow, and never EVER underestimates me, even when I can’t imagine any of
those things about myself.
And He does it PERFECTLY.
FLAWLESSLY.
COMPLETELY.
UNBIASEDLY.
BEAUTIFULLY.
Who wouldn’t want that?
