Confessions of an Educated Woman: People Are Dumb

So let’s talk about something. I am done and doner with dumb people. And you know what? We’re all dumb. That’s what I have learned this summer. Now I’m all ready to serve a mission, armed with this knowledge: PEOPLE ARE DUMB.

Believe you me, I have several reasons to back up this statement, but in this post, I just want to address one of them.

Obedience. 

Obedience = righteousness. Right?

Before I start, I want to state that I think that God's commandments are ALL merciful, important, and crucial to obey. There are no exceptions to that. So now that's out of the way, here we go.

What does it mean to be righteous? Is it simply the execution of the proper and appropriate actions based on their proximity to a certain commandment? Not in my opinion. Obedience does not only have to do with our adherence to the laws set in motion, it also has to do with how and why we act in the way we do. We have to be willing to act in a way that is pleasing to the Lord, and sometimes that is not in the way that we expect. 

We CANNOT be perfect in this life, it is outside of our physical, mental, and emotional capabilities, so like IMPOSSIBLE, and because we are all individuals, with individual experiences and perceptions, our proximity to perfection will vary from person to person. It is impossible for our obedience to be the same. The perfection that is required of us in this life has to be decided with God, and should not be influenced by the obedience of other people. When we base our obedience on the level of obedience around us, we fall into what I like to call comparative obedience, that is, an obedience whose motivation and power is based on its ability to keep up with the Jones’…or I guess the Smith’s in this case. 

You can follow all the rules and still be disobedient. You can meet every expectation and still have failed. Even if you meet the level of perfection that would earn you the label of “righteous” it still would not be enough. Why? Because perfection is not doing the same thing the same way every time. Absolute truth is not a box or a limiter. It doesn’t mean there is only one way of doing something. Technically, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is the definition of insanity, not perfection. Unless you are attempting to be perfectly insane.

Obedience has to have context. And that only comes through the spirit. Living life is like climbing a cliff face. Obedience is like the rope. Which is great, but rope without a belayer, clips, or something to tie to is USELESS. One more time. USELESS. Otherwise it’s just twisted material and dead weight you have to carry. 

Context, people.

Here are a couple of examples:

*A priesthood leader decides to fulfill one of his priesthood assignments Sunday morning by setting up chairs for meetings, while leaving his overwhelmed wife at home with three kids under the age of 6 trying to prepare a talk for Sacrament meeting and get them all ready in time.

*A spouse desires to keep a happy home and avoid contention, because, obviously, Satan is the father of contention, so they don’t mention or stand firm when their loved one repeatedly does something stupid, unkind, or crosses personal boundaries. But, in so doing, they misunderstand their priesthood duty (goes for both men and women here, we both have responsibilities in the priesthood) to reprove betimes with sharpness (clarity, not anger, preferably), and neglect the Lord’s commandment to proclaim repentance, or in other words, proclaim change that produces an increase of happiness and peace in home and family. 

*A person seeks to identify all of their weaknesses so that they can repent and be forgiven, and looks to focus on the good in other people, but assumes false humility by not admitting how good they are, never allowing themselves to feel good about what they’ve done, or minimizing their own potential and taking on attributes that are not theirs in order to hide their guilt about their own shortcomings.

*An overwhelmed mother does all she knows how to take care of her children, provide meals and a good home for her family, but refuses to require more from her husband, believing his priesthood and personal responsibilities outside of the home are more important than her insignificant needs, which results in doing little for herself, and not expecting anything, believing her worth is directly tied to her ability to be the slender, perfectly capable, mess avoiding, beautiful Molly Mormon. 

Molly Mormon (or Peter Priesthood) is a personality type, not a level of righteousness. 

President Monson is a perfect example of obedience with context. I heard a story in Institute that although the First Presidency Meeting is set up for a certain time each week, the members know to basically just wait until Pres. Monson calls them in, because he is often, OFTEN late. And they know he’s visiting someone. Reaching out to someone who needs him, who needs a little more of Christ in their lives. Isn’t that what it’s all about? Even Christ used context. Leaving his disciples to take some much needed alone time, leaving Mary and Martha to wait while He finished others things before He came to help them with Lazarus. Again, and again, Christ was contextually obedient. And He was perfect, our example in all things. 

Trying to be good is an identity crisis, choosing to do good is rejoicing in the Atonement.

“When obedience ceases to be an irritant and becomes our quest, in that moment God will endow us with power.” Ezra Taft Benson

Look at those words. Irritant and quest. What connotation does that hold for you? What is your emotional response to that?

A synonym for irritant is burden.

A burden is something we take up to put down. A quest is something we put down to take up. Burden denotes something carried with pain, a quest is carried with hope. In other words, when we stop thinking that obedience is a means to an end and start thinking of it as the beginning of a process, we will unlock its true power.

You know what happens when we all live in this fake world of self-somethingorother? We hurt each others feelings and become respecter of persons. We nullify and invalidate the very essence of what we are trying to be!

Have you ever been talking to a person and been all like “SHOOT. I’m dead. Like dangit. I can’t compete with that. I’m not that good.” That, my dears, is a result of comparative obedience. And it's a result of both people feeling that way.

 We are not supposed to become like other people, we’re supposed to become like God. Someone’s example should lead us to Christ, it should be a kind of leg up to reaching the Savior, but it should not be a reason to think less of ourselves. The gospel, repentance is about hope, not regret, determination, not self-deprecation. So stop expecting people to accept you because you're all cool and "obedient" and stop shoving yourself down because you feel less than you think you should be.

Think about it! When we talk or listen to the prophets, we do not register the person, per say, we register their proximity to God, but their vibe never requires us to rethink our own worth. It is only when we begin to assume that we cannot enjoy the same blessings of personal revelation that it begins to be a negative experience. To that, I say: 

 After the true saints receive and enjoy the gift of the Holy Ghost; after they know how to attune themselves to the voice of the Spirit; after they mature spiritually so that they see visions, work miracles, and entertain angels; after they make their calling and election sure and prove themselves worthy of every trust—after all this and more—it becomes their right and privilege to see the Lord and commune with him face to face. Revelations, visions, angelic visitations, the rending of the heavens, and appearances among men of the Lord himself—all these things are for all of the faithful. They are not reserved for apostles and prophets only. God is no respecter of persons. Bruce R. McConkie  (please notice how is says WORTHY, not "perfectly obedient" or even "obedient". Worthiness in no way denotes perfection)

We need to have an individual testimony and individual experience with the gospel in order to really know for ourselves. It is the same with obedience. We cannot expect to be fully obedient when we base our actions on the obedience of another person.

So let's do this together, shall we? Accept our dumbness and start seeing the good things in life. And in ourselves, 'cause honestly, that is the crucial step towards true obedience.