Why Bad Things Happen to Good People: You only have two choices in life. And one of them is a lie.

One of the reasons bad things happen to good people is because they EXPECT bad things to happen to them.

This is a tendency of people that are good, or are trying to be good. Those who want to be good are more prone to expecting bad things than people who actually do bad things expect it. Why? Several reasons. Two that seem to be the most prevalent are 1) They’ve gotten being a good person and being the doormat totally confused. Being righteous and having the martyr complex are two very different things. 2) Expecting bad things to happen is a way of beating ourselves down, and usually we associate feeling down or low with feeling humble. The problem is that it is a false humility, and is just as bad as being an egotistical jerk. 

I have already defined happiness as the opportunity or state of growing, of progressing towards truth, and accepting the true reality or truth of life. I don’t mean the “I’m fat, your eyebrows are nonexistent, and gas prices are ridiculous” kind of reality, I mean the clarity that comes with recognizing when you are being taken in by your own deceit. I mean seeing life as it is really happening, and not in line with your own personal expectation. I mean seeing that you are beautiful because you are alive, because there is a large part of your soul that is good, and that even though sometimes you do really dumb things, those dumb things CANNOT diminish the extraordinary person that you are. I mean truth, I mean reality as in priorities. I mean accepting, really accepting that weight, success, looks, hair, jobs, schooling or relationships cannot, will not, ever never EVER define whether or not you deserve to be loved.

So here is the two-part clause:
                                     You either believe that a) You deserve to be happy and feel joy.

 b) You don’t.

Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil... 2 Nephi 2:27 

That is what every decision comes down to folks. Turn it, shape it, cut it, flavor it any way you’d like, but that it what it is. People who are confident tend to assume that they deserve or have the right to be happy. This is why even jerky, rude, or inconsiderate people are successful. They might not really understand what true happiness is, but they always feel they deserve some form of it, and that is usually what they get. 

One of my favorite songs growing up was Unwritten. I loved the idea of being able to take charge of my future, and create eloquence out of possibility. Now that I am a bit older, I’ve started to recognize that there are some conclusions in my life’s story that have no credible sources whatsoever. It’s kinda like writing a thesis, and you have a chapter or series of chapters that deal with a particular topic that makes your thesis meaty and valid, but come to find out, the sources you used to support these chapters actually were written by a Wikipedia contributor that was playing a prank. 

Here is a silly example:

I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, so I retreated up Logan Canyon to try to sort things out in peace and solitude. I also (of course), brought my camera, and I had a secret hope of getting a really nice shot of a moose, or something of that size, I wasn’t being too picky about what type of mammal. (Bears and mountain lions are acceptable too!)

 Instead, all I saw were birds (and mostly robins for that matter), one squirrel, and about 1,000,000,000 mosquitoes. I didn’t find any closure at all in my thoughts, and actually, I generally felt worse than ever and rather defeated. There was no moose in sight, and all 1,000,000,000 mosquitoes decided that I should be their dinner. They were the wild kind that when they bit, it was like I could feel them breaking through my flesh. Very painful and with each bite, the buzz of my thoughts became more and more irritated. 

“Of COURSE this happened to me!” 

“This is why I didn’t want to come out here, because I KNEW this would happen. I KNEW that I wouldn’t find any peace or answers. It’s all just a big can of worms.” 

“When have I EVER seen a moose or gotten a cool shot when I was looking for it?” 

“I’m always too desperate, and I NEVER have enough faith, that’s why I never get to see moose.”  

“I should have EXPECTED to get eaten alive. What else was I expecting? Some sort of spiritual experience? I didn’t prepare enough for that. I don’t DESERVE an answer.”

By this point, the painful marks on my skin were nothing in comparison to the beating my soul was getting. I began to recognize that I was writing this experience using unsound sources and I knew it needed to stop. I knew that I actually deserved answers to my questions, I’ve taken lots of great pictures, and I didn’t need one of a moose to make myself feel good, lots of people get bitten by mosquitoes on a daily basis, and my faith, through the Atonement, was enough. 

So I fought back in the only way I could think of: Humor. I began to pretend that I was the star in a thriller about man-eating mosquitoes, and I had barely survived. I pretended that I was being interviewed by the press, who saw my survival as nothing short of a miracle. Somewhere along the way, I started talking out loud, and my character developed a Southern accent and a peachy complexion. Within five minutes, my mood improved, the mosquitoes basically stopped biting, the swelling of the several bites went down, and they stopped itching. Permanently. And it was then that I got the best shot of the night. Sunbursts are almost as good as moose.   

I stopped my negative thought pattern, and I changed the events of my day. I changed the plot of my life, simply because I was willing to believe I deserved happiness. 

So here’s my point: You actually only have two choices in life. And one of them is a lie. 

Based on this truth, my current definition of faith is as follows:

Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ I:  Expect [my] every need to be met.

                                                                    Expect the answer to every problem,

                                                                    Expect abundance on every level.  
                                                                                                                                        Eileen Caddy

Why? Because I believe I deserve to be happy. And I believe you do too.